Bride-zilla or nah?

So, I’ve hit that point. After a 13 month engagement with endless celebrating, social activities and barely any planning other than locking the venue down – check it out and tell me this isn’t a fairy tale garden wedding come true – and hiring a wedding planner, our wedding is somehow now FIVE months away. Five months. Panic has truly set in.

I’m starting to wonder what the heck I did the last 13 months or how in the world time flew by so fast. Even better a question, how do people plan weddings in less time than I have had?! I’ve started to hunker down and get serious about my vendor list and requirements and Excel right now is my best friend. While I have always known I am a “control freak”, this wedding process is truly showing me my strengths and revealing (much to my dismay) my weaknesses. It’s hard for me to not strive for perfection. I’ve been this way since I was a child – so much so, that if something is not perfect, I tend to then flip the script and go the other route of giving up. If it or I’m not perfect – what’s the point? With social media accounts like Pinterest and online websites that basically throw perfect unattainable and unrealistic weddings in your face literally every hour of the day, it’s so hard to not second guess your decisions. Even my wedding dress, that I am absolutely in love with and knew it was the one the second I put it on, has been questioned in the last few weeks as designer dresses fill my instagram feed and I wonder – “should I have included more lace? Maybe a dress more dainty? Should I have looked at other stores before purchasing my dress on the spot? Is my dress to simple? Would I have looked better in a more blinded out sparkly princess dress?!” I have had to breathe a lot as I remind myself that no matter what, I will feel like the bride I want to be and no other decision – dress, venue etc will make the day worse/better.

The more I plan and the more I think about this day – and I think and plan pretty much every second I get, yes even at work between emails and daily contact with clients – the more I’ve been allowing myself to stop stressing and just focus on the love that we will be reveling in that day and forget the rest. I mean, really, flowers for $2,200…are you kidding me? No really, it’s a joke right? At the end of the day, in this case not a phrase, literally at the end of OUR wedding day, those expensive and intricate flowers will be close to dead and only our love will be alive and renewed. Will we remember that the flowers were worthy of thousands of dollars? Or, will we remember the way our guests talked and smiled and laughed as we basked in the glow of our vows and commitment to love each other forever. I’m going with the latter and of course, hoping I’m proved right! 😉 It’s a tricky job to figure out what costs are priorities and what costs are not and I’m sure that this list will vary from bride to bride but the most important thing to remember is the reason any fiancee is even planning a wedding.

After the planning, I will becoming a wife and soon after that a mother if God allows our wishes. Years will pass and life will move fast and I don’t want to look back on this time and think of what I missed as I stressed about the color palette not being “in season” or my bridesmaid dresses not matching and failing to look like the pinterest board I envisioned coming to life in my head.

Dreaming is natural and fairy tales are enchanting – but this kind of love, it’s real and I’m looking forward to moving past this planning and living in wedded bliss.



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