There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why. – William Barclay
I have seen this quote many times over the years and always found it “nice” but meh. “Discover why”. Okay….the answer could be so many different things ranging from the superficial to much more in-depth, profound reasons. As I mentioned in a previous post, birthdays for me are usually non stop parties with my entire group of friends. I enjoy celebrating and more importantly, I enjoy bringing people together to celebrate! My favorite birthday parties in the last few years were a spur of a moment (or much induced alcoholic night) group idea that resulted in my friends deciding to throw a “beach house birthday party” for me. This idea grew to an annual trip that my entire group of friends and I looked forward to for the next 4 years. We always rented a beach house in Lincoln City – and when I say beach house I really mean mansion, we’re talking 8+ bedrooms with 26 people – and partied all weekend. These parties were some of the best times of my life and I think will remain so for the rest of my life.
After Brian and I got engaged though, wedding planning took over and it just seemed silly to me to have my friends spend money and celebrate my “birth” vs all the pre-wedding and eventual wedding festivities that came and are still to come! Last year turned into a brunch birthday party and this year turned into me thinking, ok well – my bachelorette party is in June, my bridal shower is in June, our wedding is in July. There is no need to for a self-absorbed party this year. I decided upon a nice dinner with my fiancée after going to work for the day as usual and chose to keep it low-key.
Well, welcome to the life of a car salesman’s future wife. Brian has long hours that are required of him from the start of the deal to the finish. And most times, he is able to work around set plans we may have but wouldn’t you know that my birthday evening would be the one time he ended up getting such a large deal, that it was worth it for him stay. Summarized: He was scheduled to be off at 5 pm. Dinner reservations were at 7 pm and he didn’t get home to pick me up until 9:40 pm. We had a nice dinner at Thirsty Lion Pub right up the street from us and called it a night.
In the past, this would have angered me and yes I feel selfish and slightly high maintenance admitting this. I expected things from people on this day and I felt I deserved them. Whether this was the younger me who didn’t quite grasp life and the priorities I should be having or what – I definitely felt the need to make my birthday about me, centered around me and well, worshipped on this day. I’m embarrassed now looking back and realizing that I felt this way or assumed that the affections of friends on this day meant people loved me more/less or that I needed that validation in life to feel wanted.
I am not sure what changed in the last few years – if it was my mom’s death, if it was getting engaged, if it really is in fact being in my thirties and understanding life better – but if I could use one word to describe how I feel entering 33 it is: renewed.
I get it now.
Brian working late was needed for 1. our future family 2. our dreams of buying another house 3. for our wedding! Nothing in me felt upset that he worked late or we “missed “dinner. Dinner can happen anytime – memories are made day in and day out in the small interactions of us living together and loving each other. I’m excited for 33 – beacue I feel this difference in me. I am ready for this future. I’m embarking on forever with the man I love and I know that I have alot I am capable of expanding on within myself – from expanding this blog, to my side gig, to various other passions I have yet to fully tap into. So here’s to birthdays, yes – for the annual reminder that we were born, we are lucky to still be alive, and that the reason we are alive should be to enjoy the present, make plans for the future and thank the past for all that we have gone through to be where we are today.