“Grief starts to become indulgent, and it doesn’t serve anyone, and it’s painful. But if you transform it into remembrance, then you’re magnifying the person you lost and also giving something of that person to other people, so they can experience something of that person.”
Oh, there you are again. I dare to say hello. It’s been awhile since we’ve connected, hasn’t it? Dark. Looming. Painful. You always linger longer than I ask and show up uninvited. I expect you during the holidays and know you’ll show up like clockwork towards the end of July, but deciding to pop up this week without warning was not the kind of surprise I was hoping to be gifted with. Read More
There was a time, before social media and the mass instigation it can cause, where life events occurred and then… we simply moved on. We were forced to move on.
No back and forth petty arguments in comment boxes ensued, no posting of passive aggressive quotes and pictures to hurt others — (without having to watch their reactions in front of our face) and no incessant bullying, or on the flip side, preaching without action.
Democracy is fundamentally important because it allows us as a group to decide. We have that right as a privilege and whether “your side” won this year or not, the fact now stands we have a new president elect and no amount of gloating nor angry venting helps either cause.
What it DOES do is continue to divide and further eliminate the healing that is needed now, more so than ever.
It blows my mind to see so many hateful opinions (on both sides) being thrown out with the quick type of emotionally charged fingers to the social media world.
There’s such a disturbing lack of faith in each other as a community and also such an unwarranted arrogance as if any of us have a direct correlation to the pride of the party who won.
When did we start treating our neighbors as our enemy?
Who told us to “be right” is to be first or “to win” is to be better?
Who made us the keeper of another’s emotions or the deciding factor on how people should feel?
Because my social media feed shows me that so many of those around me think they hold that power and in reality, they don’t.
The bottom line is, life goes on and we HAVE to be the reason it does. The power doesn’t lie in one man’s hands, hence, democracy.
Use today’s feelings to move forward and do so in the spirit of life, liberty and the ultimate pursuit of HAPPINESS.
Words matter. And you can’t take words back.
Love each other – be nice to each other – mind your manners, cast your judgements aside and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I have love for you all – religion, race, gender, sexual orientation and political affiliation inclusive. I will be praying everyday that this love in my heart carries over to assist the change I wish to see on a personal level of those around not me – not just on our countries level.
“The first flash of color always excites me as much as the first frail, courageous bloom of spring. This is, in a sense, my season–sometimes warm and, when the wind blows an alert, sometimes cold. But there is a clarity about September. On clear days, the sun seems brighter, the sky more blue, the white clouds take on marvelous shapes; the moon is a wonderful apparition, rising gold, cooling to silver; and the stars are so big. The September storms–the hurricane warnings far away, the sudden gales, the downpour of rain that we have so badly needed here for so long–are exhilarating, and there’s a promise that what September starts, October will carry on, catching the torch flung into her hand.”
― Faith Baldwin, Evening Star
Ahhh, yes. The end of September is drawing near. The month’s end brings the release of Summer and the beginnings of Fall. It also brings the annual ALS Association’s: Walk to Defeat ALS® for people “like me”. Read More
Welcome to a new portion of the website called, Thursday Thoughts! Every Thursday, I will share a quote of the week and in turn, discuss my own thoughts about this quote. Quotes to me are essential to everyday life. Yes I am THAT girl. You know the one I’m talking about. The one who posts quotes as their Facebook status, the #mondaymotivation Instagram poster, the cliche – you need advice – let me throw some of my favorite Oprah inspired passages at you – friend. Mhmm, that is me and it took me a long time to own this and embrace it.
Quotes are words but words are power. To some, quotes are cheesy and sure, I can agree and see both sides. Words don’t provide action and without action, words can be nothing but fluff. The icing on a cake that hasn’t been baked. But on my side of things, you know, the “positive patty” side – wink wink – it’s just so much more. No matter what people may say, we all need inspiration. We all search and long for more than what we know. We all feel lost at times and there’s something in the connection that quotes can provide that bring us back home and in essence, remind us we are not alone by connecting us to someone else’s thoughts and inner voice. There’s no better feeling than knowing that what we’re feeling is justified and valid.
Today’s quote of the week is one I found on one of my favorite Facebook pages: The Female Entrepreneur Association. The Female Entrepreneur Association is an awesome company founded by Carrie Green. This social media mogul has changed the #girl #boss game by teaching other women her secrets, tips and tricks into not only starting your own company but integrating social media into your everyday actions. Quotes are posted daily on their Facebook page and you can check out their website here.
SOMETIMES THE RIGHT PATH IS NOT THE FASTEST ONE.
I’ll make today’s post short as I’ve already taken up time explaining this weekly addition to my site. So, to put my response to today’s quote bluntly, “A – freaking – men!!!” Who even wants to take the quickest path?! It’s so “easy” – keyword easy – to hope and wish and dream for something to change whether it’s physically, emotionally, occupationally, or romantically. As little girls, we were often fed the fairy tale that dreams come true if you WISH hard enough. Search and find that “lucky” star and the shining beams of light will magically burst upon you and change your world. I surrounded my whole essence with these thoughts. I prayed hard, I wished hard, I spoke to the stars and drew my fairy tales out in my head. And did my dreams appear!? Of course not. All that happened was that years passed me by and I was still the same person, in the same place, with the same hopes and failed dreams.
So what is the “right path” and how do you get there? You get there by starting. You get to anything in life by doing. You get what you want by TRYING. And more often than not, that path isn’t going to lead you to the answer overnight. You won’t lose your glass slipper and wake up in the morning with a Prince searching for you to hand you what you desire. We all hold the power to save ourselves and we should want to. My thoughts for you today are this: What do you want? What are you reaching for? What goal are you wishing to achieve? Now, how are you going to get there? When you start this path, and you figure this out, start walking but know that you don’t have to run to get there. I hope that you take the time to enjoy the view, that you allow yourself the possibility to take a few detours and forgive yourself for them when you do. The blessing and ultimate accomplishment is always in the journey, my loves, never solely in the end destination.
There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why. – William Barclay
I have seen this quote many times over the years and always found it “nice” but meh. “Discover why”. Okay….the answer could be so many different things ranging from the superficial to much more in-depth, profound reasons. As I mentioned in a previous post, birthdays for me are usually non stop parties with my entire group of friends. I enjoy celebrating and more importantly, I enjoy bringing people together to celebrate! My favorite birthday parties in the last few years were a spur of a moment (or much induced alcoholic night) group idea that resulted in my friends deciding to throw a “beach house birthday party” for me. This idea grew to an annual trip that my entire group of friends and I looked forward to for the next 4 years. We always rented a beach house in Lincoln City – and when I say beach house I really mean mansion, we’re talking 8+ bedrooms with 26 people – and partied all weekend. These parties were some of the best times of my life and I think will remain so for the rest of my life.
After Brian and I got engaged though, wedding planning took over and it just seemed silly to me to have my friends spend money and celebrate my “birth” vs all the pre-wedding and eventual wedding festivities that came and are still to come! Last year turned into a brunch birthday party and this year turned into me thinking, ok well – my bachelorette party is in June, my bridal shower is in June, our wedding is in July. There is no need to for a self-absorbed party this year. I decided upon a nice dinner with my fiancée after going to work for the day as usual and chose to keep it low-key.
Well, welcome to the life of a car salesman’s future wife. Brian has long hours that are required of him from the start of the deal to the finish. And most times, he is able to work around set plans we may have but wouldn’t you know that my birthday evening would be the one time he ended up getting such a large deal, that it was worth it for him stay. Summarized: He was scheduled to be off at 5 pm. Dinner reservations were at 7 pm and he didn’t get home to pick me up until 9:40 pm. We had a nice dinner at Thirsty Lion Pub right up the street from us and called it a night.
In the past, this would have angered me and yes I feel selfish and slightly high maintenance admitting this. I expected things from people on this day and I felt I deserved them. Whether this was the younger me who didn’t quite grasp life and the priorities I should be having or what – I definitely felt the need to make my birthday about me, centered around me and well, worshipped on this day. I’m embarrassed now looking back and realizing that I felt this way or assumed that the affections of friends on this day meant people loved me more/less or that I needed that validation in life to feel wanted.
I am not sure what changed in the last few years – if it was my mom’s death, if it was getting engaged, if it really is in fact being in my thirties and understanding life better – but if I could use one word to describe how I feel entering 33 it is: renewed.
I get it now.
Brian working late was needed for 1. our future family 2. our dreams of buying another house 3. for our wedding! Nothing in me felt upset that he worked late or we “missed “dinner. Dinner can happen anytime – memories are made day in and day out in the small interactions of us living together and loving each other. I’m excited for 33 – beacue I feel this difference in me. I am ready for this future. I’m embarking on forever with the man I love and I know that I have alot I am capable of expanding on within myself – from expanding this blog, to my side gig, to various other passions I have yet to fully tap into. So here’s to birthdays, yes – for the annual reminder that we were born, we are lucky to still be alive, and that the reason we are alive should be to enjoy the present, make plans for the future and thank the past for all that we have gone through to be where we are today.
Hey hey! Things are rolling along with my “side gig” – I had my BBL or Big Business Launch last week and it went really well. Two of my favorite and dearest friends ended up joining my team to share in the love of R + F as consultants. I couldn’t be more excited to share in this journey with them! (I will need to write a separate post about that soon!)
In just a month of being in this business, this role I’ve taken on as a consultant has brought me so much inner joy and confidence, it’s unreal. I don’t even know how to put into words the emotions I have felt tackling this job and challenging myself to break out from my comfort zone and reach out to others to help them. I assume most people see me posting about skin care and calling out to them to learn more about it and think I’m fairly aggressive, annoying and frankly, wonder why I am sharing with them when they really didn’t ask for my unsolicited skin advice. Those nagging thoughts is the reason I’ve been tested through this process, doubted myself numerous times and definitely had moments where I wondered if I was cut out for this. This process has brought attention to my insecurities and the people pleaser side of me that doesn’t want to ruffle feathers and has helped me to face that I’m not as confident as I like to portray. It’s been disheartening to feel those thoughts yet…oddly also motivating. When the self-doubt creeps in, I wonder why. Why do I feel I don’t have the necessary tools to succeed? To finish the job? To help others? To become who I want to become?
I think at some level we all face this question at various stages in our lives. And on the other level, we all know the answer is that we do have all of that and more. When the doubt creeps in, the uninvited stranger to your mind’s party, it’s so easy to open the door and let them come in and stay. Linger awhile, why don’t you. I don’t have the strength to kick you out. The hardest part is slamming that door and saying, NOT TODAY, not invited, adios, don’t come around here any more! I’ve learning… (and it’s still not easy), but every day that I at least get up and TRY is one day closer to being free of this burden and not locked down by self-doubt.
I started this company because 1. I love beauty products 2. I believe in these products and 3. I wanted a job that allowed me to follow this passion of skin care, and also help people and make a little money on the side. What I didn’t expect was that as I set out to change the skin and ultimately the life of others, my life would simultaneously change as well. I’m becoming the better version of me. From my sponsor, (my hired and insanely talented wedding MUA turned friend and now business partner) to this amazing team of women whom most I have never met in person but joyfully cheer me on via social media and instantly chose to be my friend, I am learning to believe in ME. Women supporting women can get lost in today’s society. Competition can lead to jealousy and let’s be real, social media leads to comparing lives, judging others and forgetting our own blessings as we evaluate everyone else’s. I can’t sit here and not say I haven’t been a part of that same circle of social media dysfunction. R + F broke that for me and the mold is set now for me to want more – not only for myself but others.
So, that’s why I post. That’s why I share. That’s why I want everyone to feel this feeling I have while I sit here writing this. We are all the same inside and the beauty of it is, that we all have our own talents on the outside: coming together and uniting only makes the world ours and our options limitless.
Talk to me, ask me, call me, email me, text me! I want you to run with me on this newfound journey to unstoppable too.
PS. In one month, I got promoted from Consultant to Executive Consultant. I’m not one to boast or brag. I’m just one to say I didn’t think I could do it, I had no confidence I could but….I did. 🙂
7/26/2013. The day my mother moved on to heaven to fly free.
They say it’s “crazy how fast time flies” and that’s the truth. Two years since I got that call at 8:08 am. It feels like forever ago and just yesterday at the same time. I look back and wonder how my sister and I got through the first few months to a year…how we planned a funeral by ourselves, packed her stuff up alone, acquired an estate and took care of so much that no one teaches you how to do. My body back then was constantly in auto pilot and I flowed on and somehow got through. Yet, there was so much anger in me, fits of rage and why me’s, so many tears and days filled with the want to stop the tears and no tools to know how to. There was a cloud of loneliness and heartache that seeped into every word I spoke and smile I gave. Friends, coworkers, my fiancee and his family were my lifeline. They say it takes a village to raise children – well it more than takes a village to raise someone up in grief. Their unwavering support was testimony to the miracle of how much love can help to heal a broken heart. Read More